Dear me,
Happy birthday to us!
I know you’re feeling overwhelmed and stuck and burned out. I know you’re disappointed with a lot of the things you’ve hoped for that didn’t come your way. I know how you wanted to do more but somehow this is all we’ve been able to do, for now.
Work has been so much right now, it’s not inspiring anymore to jump from one completely different (sometimes altogether new) task to another, from one brand to another. We hit a roadblock with reuniting with one set of friends because of his fiasco. And she is still ever actively looking for ways to be offended and activate her trademark sour mood, is extremely disrespectful and emotionally abusive. Meanwhile, another household member keeps looking out for herself and adding on to our workload.
And I know how tired you feel. The days can be so busy. Sometimes the exhaustion is physical, but most of the time, it’s the never-ending to-do list that our brain calls out to be accomplished. It’s the feeling that there’s no one else we could count on to do things, so we’re left with this mountain of tasks.
So I know much you want for this day to be just about the things you want to do. I totally get it, fully support it, and will do my best to make it happen.
And even though we’ve felt like we haven’t accomplished anything (I’m thinking we skip our high school reunion because of this and because we don’t have any close friends there)I also would like for you to remember how far you’ve come.
In case you’ve forgotten, I’d like for you to know..
That your shy, quiet student self would be floored to know you’ve somehow ended up in various leadership positions in college and work, and that you have led people in their yoga practices and Spanish lessons.
That your high school self would never have thought you would become a president of one of the student organisations in your university (and you studied in a prestigious university under scholarship at that!).
That your college self (who was never into any kind of sports or movement activities) would have been so impressed to know you eventually became a yoga teacher.
That your yuppie self would be so proud to know you’ve learned a new language and have used it to bolster your income for quite some time.
That the person you were who started out in the call centre industry who was so worried she would end up in a dead-end job would be so happy to know how you explored various lines of businesses and departments; and that you got promoted and aimed for posts that you liked and ended up with something really enjoyable.
That your crying self in the different years would be comforted by the fact that you have found various ways to move on. She would even be shaking her head to know you bought a ukulele, or learned sign language, just because.
That the person you were in 2003 would be so amazed how different your life path seemed, but how full it is, nevertheless.
That the person who lost so much joy when her dear pet dog died would eventually be surrounded by four times more love. And although it is very different from that familiar joy and love she has relied on for more than a decade, it will do for the present.
And so, as Daddy used to say, this too shall pass.
We’ll find a way to heal from this love life disappointment.
We’ll figure out what to do for our career.
We’ll thrive with the new set of furbabies.
We’ll refuse to be pulled down by someone else’s negativity.
We’ll welcome every reason to celebrate with joy and handle every heartbreak with grace.
Because we have always, always done so.
I love you and we got this.
Love,
Me
PS.After re-reading our 2022 birthday letter, I’m so happy we are keeping this tradition.
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